Hey Reader,

When I began this journey, fear had me by the throat.

The fear of being seen, having to go back to work after quitting, not figuring it out, looking stupid, not being qualified enough, etc.

My list of fears was as long as the number of sand grains on a beach.

They took up so much real estate in my brain that it was hard to focus.

But you know the most surprising thing?

Once I took the first step, the fear evaporated quickly. Especially once I started stacking small wins. Also, tackling the next became easier once I overcame one and lived to tell the tale.

I went from shaking in my boots at the thought of posting my first tweet to weed-whacking my way through this journey in public.

For months, I have consistently posted about my journey on my TikTok and Twitter accounts. In addition to that, I now have this newsletter.

If you told me I would have all this 5 years ago, I would have asked you what you were smoking.

Me, post online? Not in this life or the next.

I tried about 3 times to start a blog but deleted it after a few unpublished posts. The desire was always there, but the fear was insurmountable.

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Here are the 3 learnings that helped me overcome fear:
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1. Finding my 'Why'

Your 'Why' must be audacious and specific.

One that will activate your inner drive and make your pursuit unrelenting in the face of fear.

Something you can’t get out of your head no matter how hard you try.

It should make giving up non-negotiable.

For me, it's not just freedom. I always wanted that, but it wasn't a strong enough driving force. Freedom to do what, with whom and when?

You have to be able to visualize it, feel it, hear it and smell it.

Finding it can be trying and requires deeper self-awareness.
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Sometimes a catalytic event leads us to our 'Why'. Like having a bad work experience, losing a loved one, or just being sick and tired of being sick and tired.

All 3 did it for me.

I lost my mother at 15 and my father at 27, so time and life were always extra precious. Then burnout flipped the switch and made it clear as day that my 'Why' had nothing to do with the job I had.
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These events, albeit sad. Made me pay closer attention to what truly mattered.

I want the freedom to go skiing on a random Monday or every Monday, spend more time with loved ones, and pursue more purposeful work.

Aside from catalytic events, the 2 things that helped me were journaling and joining communities.
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Journalling forced me to slow down, let it all out and visualize.
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It uncluttered my thoughts.
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I discovered that even though I like tech and being a software engineer, it doesn't matter to me as much as I thought. I am more interested in applying the skills to more meaningful problems.
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Rather than endlessly stacking tech skills.
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Joining communities helped me figure out who I wanted to help and why.

I learned a lot from people's stories. These experiences sharpened my intuition, making identifying and pursuing what truly feels right easier.
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I discovered that in addition to healthcare, I am also interested in helping people get unstuck and become entrepreneurs.
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This has helped me continue to post my journey even when terrified of looking like a clown.
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So, by pinpointing your "Why" and truly understanding its roots, you arm yourself with knowledge that quiets fear and propels you, even in the face of uncertainty.
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2. Compassionate inquiry

We tend to ignore fear even if we decide to push through.

Never sitting with it, which is what is needed to get a better understanding.

Compassionate inquiry is a psychotherapeutic approach developed by Dr. Gabor Maté.

It is about treating ourselves with kindness while inquiring about what lies beneath a feeling or emotion instead of ignoring your needs or being critical.

Ask yourself:

'What is this fear trying to tell me.'
'What's the worst that could happen?'
'Am I okay with that?'.
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Then, you break the fear into smaller manageable problems that could be solved.

For example, when my fear of returning to work was at its height, I followed this process, and it helped me to reframe my fear as protection from a situation that made me unhappy and mentally unwell.

Once I understood my fear, thinking of other options in the worst-case scenario was easy. I could freelance or work part-time or full-time in an easier role, allowing me to pursue the mission.

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I recommend watching this video by Dr. Gabor Maté.
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​Dr. Gabor Maté ~ Compassionate Inquiry​

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This process taught me to sit with my worries and coach myself. I started treating my fear as a friend rather than an enemy to shove aside and pretend it didn't exist.

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3. Understanding memory

Most people fear looking stupid.

Especially on the internet, where your blunder can go viral. Forever remembered as the clown who did <insert silly mistake here>

However, once you understand what it takes to be remembered, you’ll realize there is little to worry about.

At the start of my journey, I wanted to learn the science of virality and how to make content that sticks. I read books like:

• Storytelling for Start-ups: how to hack humans
• Made to Stick
• Contagious

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These books made me realize the real challenge is being remembered.

Memories are linked with emotions. Unless your mistake activates strong emotions like fear, anger, surprise or excitement, your mistakes will be forgotten within an hour.

People remember how you make them feel.

Without this, the memory of your mistake is tossed out with the rest of the info your brain deems useless.

So chill, no one will remember.

Once you start putting yourself out there, you will see people don't care nearly as much as you think.
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I recommend reading any of the books above, especially Storytelling for Start-ups: how to hack humans.
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​You can finish it in a day, and it helps you understand exactly what it takes to be remembered. This understanding dramatically reduced my fear of posting online.

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Snack for Thought

To sum it up, practicing self-compassion and working on self-discovery are crucial for overcoming fear.

If you aim to achieve your dreams and genuinely help others, clarity on those aspirations is the most potent antidote to fear.​
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​Just hit send, step back and let it be.

Overcoming that hurdle could transform your life and positively impact countless others.

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